


In the Silences

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: First Times, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 01:19:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/792378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim has an epiphany, and learns that not all silences are bad ones.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Silences

**Author's Note:**

> Hmmm. One of these days I'm going to write one that's not a first time.  Usual warnings apply. Not beta'd, but still shouldn't be any gross mistakes. Drum roll please...This is my first NC-17, folks, so be gentle, and try not to laugh hysterically over the sex scene, okay? 

## In the Silences

by AngieJean

Author's disclaimer: Pet Fly's. Not making any money. You know the drill.

* * *

Blair Sandburg was jerked rudely awake to the sound of glass crashing to the floor, and a slightly muffled, "Shit!" that was unmistakeable as his roomates' voice. 

"Ji'?" he called sleepily. "Wha' the hell you doin' man?" A morning person, Blair was not, and never would be, but after three years plus, Jim had learned to translate his garbled, slurred mumblings into the somewhat coherent words they were meant to be. 

"Nothing, Chief," came the irritated reply. "Go back to sleep." A part of him; alright, a big part of him, wanted to do just that. Groaning, he flipped over, and looked at the clock. 

7:15am. He stopped, and concentrated for a moment. There was no impending sense of urgency. His Sentinel wasn't seriously hurt. 

There wasn't anywhere he really needed to be, as it was Saturday, and he could, theoretically, go back to sleep, and not wake up for the next four hours, but, he admitted fairly easily, he wasn't going to do that. 

There was just one reason why he wasn't going to do that, and there was no way he would ever admit that reason to anyone on the planet. Hell, he didn't even want to admit it to himself. 

Jim. James Joseph Ellison. Jim was the reason that he wasn't going to lounge around in bed for the next four hours on one of his rare, completely free days off. 

And why was that? Well, because this was also one of Jim's rare, completely free days off as well, and Blair Sandburg wasn't in the least stupid enough to miss out on a golden opportunity like this one. 

It completely sucked that the only time lately he could spend with his partner, was when he was getting shot at, or had just been beaten up, and was getting stitched back together at Cascade General. 

A vauge, horrifying notion that being with Jim had turned him into a closet masochist caused him to shake his head ruefully. 

After all, that seemed to be the only way he could get his partner to touch him with those gentle, almost loving movements. Was it any wonder that he seemed to be seeing more of the ER lately? 

_Well, you could just take a chance, and tell him how you feel about him. It might be easier on your insurance rates too._

Blair didn't know where that mocking, sarcastic voice had come from in the last couple of weeks, but it seemed to be his constant companion lately, and he had worked hard to restrain himself from actually answering it at times. 

You were only crazy if you started talking back to the voices in your head. 

Besides, there was no way on earth that he could even consider it. It was unthinkable. 

It would get him thrown out of the loft. 

And that was one thing that could never happen. That he could never take the chance on. Because any kind of life with Jim was better than life without him. There was no life without him. 

No life without him? When had Blair Sandburg been happily sucked into the essence of James Ellison's life on the tiniest, most illogical hope that he might, someday, have a chance to love him openly, and freely? 

Blair scowled at the ceiling. Days off sucked. At least when he was inhumanly busy, he didn't have time to lay around, and contemplate the way his old way of life and freedom was now a meaningless, and hopeless figment of his imagination. 

Blair Sandburg flopped over onto his back, and groaned heavily. 

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/ 

James Ellison watched the glass of orange juice he had been reaching for fall towards the kitchen floor in slow motion. His fingers passed within a fraction of an inch of it, then slipped off, and he winced as the resultant shattering sounded loudly enough to wake the dead. 

Or at least one soundly sleeping anthropologist in the downstairs bedroom. 

"Ji'? Wha' the hell you doin' man?" Jim winced again and called out that everything was all right, and Smadburg could go back to sleep. 

He figured there was about a fifty-fifty chance that he actually would. Blair's own protective instinct might come to the fore, forcing the anthropologist to come out, and ascertain that there was no blood gushing, severed limbs, or missing eyes. 

On the other hand, he might just be pissed that his Sentinel woke him up at seven o'clock in the morning on a Saturday, and decide to let him bleed to death on the kitchen floor in retaliation. 

Jim snorted. 

As if. Blair would know instantly, and certainly, if there had been any kind of serious injury. Jim had been kidnapped by an inner city gang after he had busted their rival's leader's younger brother, in an impulsive, and ill-advised frame job to bring the cops down on the rival gang. 

Ill-advised only because his Guide had, mysteriously, known exactly where they were holding him the instant they started to hurt him. 

Simon's faith in the young observer had been a gamble, but it had paid off, and, if he didn't ask too many questions about it, well, what did it matter. He still got his detective back, relatively whole, and he didn't have to hear answers to his questions that he just didn't want to know! 

Jim had to admit, his first instinct, was to go along with Simon's line of thought. He really didn't want any more. No more weirdness. No more abilities. No more problems with his senses. 

Hell, didn't he have enough to worry about, without adding this strange link with Blair into the mix as well? 

Blair had argued, lectured, theorized, browbeaten, cajoled, whined, and sulked. But in the end, it had been the honest hurt, quickly shuttered behind those sparkling eyes, that had forced Jim to go against a lifetime of training, and actually talk about it. 

Because to refuse was too reminiscent of another time 

_I'm not ready to take that trip with you, Chief_. 

that he didn't really want to think about. 

Shutting Blair out was dangerous. Shutting Blair out, just might get his Guide taken away from him. As if the forces of the Universe were saying, 

"If you don't play nice with your toys, you don't get to keep them." 

Oh, and wouldn't Blair appreciate hear that little analogy. The thought brought a smile to his face. 

So he had listened to Blair. Mutinously at times, but he had done it. And in the end, it had been his Guide that had been right, all along. As always. 

To Jim's unutterable relief, there was no telepathy involved. He just wasn't sure that he was going to be able to handle something like that. It was too out there. Too far in the Sandburg Zone for his comfort level. 

The vague feelings surfaced when they were in danger. As if Nature itself was trying to make sure they faced it together. Blair said that he saw something like the residual traces of his aura. Light tendrils that told him he was going in the right direction, sort of like a directional rope, leading him to Jim. 

On Jim's part, it was even less defined than that. He didn't actually see anything. To him, it was more like, and he hated to use the phrase, a sixth sense. 

A Guide sense, if you would, seeming to exist solely to lead him to the whereabouts of his Guide. Instead of seeing him when he was across town, he could feel him. Like a heaviness that increased the closer he got to Sandburg. 

They had tried, but they were limited on the ways they could test the bond, unless one of them decided to go out, and get kidnapped by a convenient psycho. 

Jim just figured it was something that developed all on it's own, and to his mind, the less practice they got, using it, the better he liked it. 

With a start, Jim realized he had been standing in the kitchen, staring at the mess of juice and broken glass, daydreaming for the last ten minutes or so. 

He skirted the mess, going for the broom and dustpan, and chiding himself all the while. It had been sheer luch that his Guide hadn't come out of the bedroom, or he would have thought the Sentinel zoned, and then he could have looked forward to a day of constant cossetting, and mother-henning. 

Now just why did that prospect sound so appealing? Jim had been struggling for a while, with the fact, that there was more changing in their relationship than just the creation of the bond between them. 

He was a Sentinel. Blair had taught him well how to use his senses, and to listen to what they were telling him. 

He snorted laughter yet again, as he bent to sweep up the mess, and carry it to the trash. That sounded way too much like something that would come from Naomi Sandburg's mouth. 

_You've got to listen to your body, and what it's telling you, Jim_. 

Well, right then, it wasn't listening to his body that he was interested in. Blair Sandburg's body had been telling him some interesting things here lately. Things that he wasn't sure he wanted to know about. 

The fact that every time he came into a room, Blair's heartrate would jump, just a little. 

The fact that when he leaned close to the anthropologist, his sweat would take on the bittersweet tang of arousal. 

Noticing his pupils dilate. 

Noticing his breathing become heavy. 

Blair wanted him. He knew it. He had accepted this as fact, and moved on to greener pastures. The question was, did he want Blair. 

Short, hairy, geeky anthropologists had never been his burning passion. 

At least not until he met this one. 

Blair was like no one he had ever met before, male or female, and he owed the kid his life several times over. He was indebted to him, and he appreciated all he did for him. All he sacrificed for him. The trips he had given up so that he could stay with Jim. The times that he had stayed with Jim on an all-night stakeout after he had been grading mid-terms for three days solid, just to keep the Sentinel from zoning. 

Jim appreciated all that, and suddenly, he had an epiphany while kneeling, and washing orange juice off the kitchen floor. 

He was waiting, because he wanted to see if he just appreciated Blair, or if he wanted Blair. 

Why? 

Well, because you didn't build a relationship that lasts with someone you appreciate. That wasn't any reason to stay together for the rest of your lives. And that was the epiphany. Because he suddenly realized that was what he wanted. He wanted a reason to stay with Blair for the rest of his life. 

He didn't want a quick fuck. 

He didn't want a casual fling. 

He wanted Blair Sandburg, in all his geeky glory. Forever. 

Well. This was new. This wasn't something that he had ever pictured himself wanting. That was all right, though. He wasn't going to be flying off the handle about it. He had learned to save his hissy fits for something worthwhile, and this wasn't worth a hissy fit. 

Because, the more he thought about it, the more he realized what was right in front of his face. 

He loved Blair. He didn't just like him, and want to fuck him. 

No. He loved him. And wanted to fuck him. 

And Blair wanted him too. 

Jim found himself sitting on the floor in the middle of the kitchen, looking at a clean spot that had been dirty a moment ago, and holding an orange juice-soaked rag. 

All right. All this he knew. Now what was he going to do about it? 

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/ 

What was he going to do about it? 

Well, the first thing he was going to do, was get up, and not waste any more of the day moaning over what he didn't have, and start enjoying what he did have. 

Maybe he could convince Jim to go out, and do something relaxing. The Cascade Wildlife Refuge had just opened a new hiking trail that was suppossed to be medium difficulty, so it would provide exercise, without cutting off the oxygen flow to his brain. 

And they would be able to talk, as they enjoyed the scenery 

_Hmm. The possibilities seem endless there, don't they_? 

Shut up. 

So what if he just wanted to go, and spend a few hours relaxing with his best friend, without the weight of the world on hi-their shoulders for once. 

A little of his enthusiasm restored, he hopped out of bed, and threw open the French Doors. 

"Hey, Jim! You wanna go hiking today, man? 'Cause I just thought of the most wonderful place to go, and why are you sitting on the floor, Jim?" 

His partner looked a little shell-shocked at the rapid-fire delivery, but almost instantly heaved himself up off the floor, and walked towards the bathroom to drop the dirty rag in the hamper. 

"Um. No reason. Just thinking." 

It was only with the greatest difficulty that Blair was able to refrain from a question about why it was easier to think while sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor. He didn't figure he'd get any kind of a decent answer anyway. 

"Sure, okay, Jim," he said, pinning him with a cockeyed, considering look. 

"So, um, where's this wonderful place you were telling me about?" Blair's face brightened immediately, having firmly latched onto the concept of taking his Sentinel out for a day of relaxation, since the idea of taking him to _bed_ for a day of relaxation was unattainable. 

"It's this new hiking trail at the Cascade Wildlife Refuge. It's supposed to be a great trail. Lots of beautiful scenery, fresh air, sunshine, for once." His voice took on a sing-song quality as he extolled the virtues of the trail, and by the look on his friends face, it was working. 

Jim was getting that dreamy look that meant he was envisioning what the day would be like with no criminals to chase, and no reports to file, and no Simon bellowing in the background... 

"Sounds great, as long as you don't decide to go and get eaten by a bear while were out there." 

Blair rolled his eyes, and smirked at Jim. 

"Very funny, Big Guy. You know, until I started hanging out with you, I don't remember getting into life-threatening situations with quite this much regularity." 

Jim smiled back, but the light in his eyes dimmed a little, and Blair cursed himself silently. He knew how seriously Jim took his responsibility as Blair's "Blessed Protector", and it didn't help for Blair to be pointing out all the trouble he got into while in said Protector's company. Sometimes he wished he hadn't ever said anything about the title at all, but who knew Jim would take it so seriously? 

"It's all right, Jim. I was just teasing you." Jim nodded his head, but his eyes told Blair that he hadn't been teasing. 

Jim was dead serious. 

With a slight nervous twitch, Blair cleared his throat, intent on diverting the conversation away from a subject he knew from experience, was a minefield of trouble. 

"Anyway, I was thinking we could get dressed, and take a hike through this morning, then hit Zoli's for lunch after we're done." It had taken Blair a long time to find a vegetarian deli that Jim actually enjoyed, but Zoli's had a wide range of healthy fare that wasn't all tofu based. Jim had even been known to suggest the restaurant without browbeating from his partner now and again. 

"Sounds good," Jim said with a smile that felt awfully fake to him, but seemed to appease Blair. Jim was still a little shaky after his early morning revelation, and he had to admit, that getting out of the confines of the loft sounded extremely attractive to him. Maybe he would get some time to think things over, and decide what he wanted to do about this... 

"Great," Blair said with a relieved smile. "I'll just go hit the shower, and get dressed-" 

"Ah ah ah," Jim barked shortly, though with a hint of a smile on his face. "I believe it was yesterday, that you were just going to take a quick, shower, and I got left with an arctic stream imitation for mine? I think it would be my turn for the hot water today." 

"Jiiiiiimmm." Jim's grin broadened. Emotional turmoil or no, there was no denying the fact that he loved watching his roomate sulk. Blair had the most adorable, unconscious way of just barely sticking out his lower lip that made Jim want nothing more than to lean over and nip it...maybe run his tongue across it softly. 

"You see if you can't scrounge up something quick for breakfast, and I'll be out before you know it." Jim turned with a smirk, and headed for the bathroom, pretending not to hear Sandburg's muttered commentary on insensitive Sentinels that let their Guides freeze to death in the shower. 

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/ 

An hour and a half later, having eaten a very light breakfast of bagels and cream cheese and coffee, they were out, and on their way to the Refuge, each looking forward to their day, though for slightly different reasons. 

Blair was living the life of the resigned, for the moment, and had well and truely devoted all his attentions to enjoying the outdoor setting, and spending time with his best friend. As well as keeping the physical contanct to a minimum. 

After all, there wasn't any reason to torture himself while he enjoyed the day. 

Jim, on the other hand, was retreating further and further into a contemplative silence, thinking over the events of the morning, and wondering if Sandburg was going to want to talk while they were out hiking. That would pretty much defeat the purpose of going, since he wanted to spend the time _thinking_ things over. 

But if he snapped at the kid, Sandburg would know something was wrong, and for all that he called Jim his Blessed Protector, Blair was a pit bull when it came to ferretting out whatever was wrong with his Sentinel. 

"Jim, you okay, man?" 

"Yeah, I'm fine, Chief. Just enjoying the morning." That wasn't even a lie. It was unusually beautiful for mid-June, the sky clear, and the sun shining brightly. It really was a great day to be out... 

"You just seem kind of quiet," Blair tried again. 

"Hmmm." Jim couldn't think of anything more to say that wouldn't get Blair's radar up. Sandburg narrowed his eyes anyway, but fell silent in the passenger seat. 

Jim stared out the windshield, with only half a mind on the road ahead of him. It was a gorgeous day, and to be honest, there really wasn't anyone else that he would _rather_ spend it with, than Blair. They already did everything together, to be truthful. Most married couples he knew wouldn't be able to handle being in each other's company as much as they were. Almost four years together had been enough to mold them seamlessly, it seemed. They could double up while doing dishes, shaving, and brushing teeth, or cooking dinner, and never once trip over each other. Some nights after a particularly long day at the station, they would sit together in the living room, one on either end of the sofa, and watch old movies, or a National Geographic special, or a Jags game, or whatever, and just sit there, and not feel required to talk. No need to fill a comfortable silence. Once again, Jim had seen married couples that still hadn't mastered that trick after twenty years of living together. God knew he had never done it with Carolyn. The tense silences in the loft had begged for some action or words to fill them, and if neither of them had felt like talking, then one of them would find it impossible to stand the oppressive silence, and have to leave for awhile, with Jim being the one to take his leave most of the time. Almost always, when he came back, his wife was already in bed, her warm body turned away from him as he crawled in beside her, always feeling a vague sense of shame as he did so, though he had done nothing wrong. 

And wasn't that what he was really afraid of with Blair? He could admit it. He wasn't having a moment of homophobic terror. His lifestyle up until his marriage had him naturally inclined to sex with men on occasion, so the mechanics of the act didn't hold any hidden questions for him. 

He wasn't afraid of the sex, he was afraid of those terrible silences afterwards, and the warm body with it's back turned to him. 

Because he had been able to stand it when Carolyn had left him, but he didn't think he would be able to live with it when Blair did the same thing to him. 

He wanted Blair forever, but he wasn't sure if Blair wanted that, or just to hop in the sack a few times. 

"Jim, you coming, man?" Jim started a little, and found himself sitting in the parked truck, motionless, while Sandburg stuck his head in the door, grabbing his backpack, and looking him over worridly. "Maybe we should go home. You're acting really strange today, Jim. Are you sure you feel alright?" 

"No, no. I'm fine. Just thinking. I don't want to go home." Blair didn't look convinced, but with a little more prodding, they went and checked in at the visitors center, the disinterested attendant taking down their starting time as they passed through the museum portion, and out onto the trail beginning at the back of the building. 

Jim and Blair both took deep breaths as they stepped out in the sunshine, unconscious smiles crossing their faces as they started out on the slightly rocky ground. 

An hour later, they were about a third of the way through it, and Blair was beginning to feel a pleasant burn in his calf and thigh muscles. 

Jim on the other hand, wasn't feeling it much yet, though Blair would probably have rolled his eyes, with a comment to the effect of, 'it would take a twenty-mile run for _you_ to really feel it', had Jim said anything of the kind. 

Neither one of them was saying much, though. Blair was a little depressed that he had been unsuccessful in getting Jim talking, and Jim, was slowly working his way towards a decision to his problems. 

He guessed in the end, it all came down to how much of a coward he was. He hadn't ever been a coward before, in things that really mattered, and this mattered more than anything he had ever done. 

He simply couldn't screw this up. 

The gradual incline they had been fighting for the last hour and a half, finally came to a culmination in the form of the most spectacular view from a cliff, that marked the halfway point of the trail. 

The drop off looked to be roughly two hundred feet, so the Refuge had lined the open area of the cliff with a sturdy railing all the way to the tree line. Jim approached it readily enough, with Blair following a little more cautiously, all but creeping as he came to the edge, though the view was enough to make him overcome his timidity, and stand beside Jim, holding the rail securely. 

Slowly, he straightened, and looked out over the expanse of glorious, spring green forest, the river a barely visible silver thread winding it's way through the trees. He drew in a breath. 

"Jesus, Jim, it's beautiful." 

Jim couldn't agree more, though he wasn't looking at the forest. Watching the gusts of wind catch Blair's curls, and sweep them around his face, which was alive with the most amazing expression of wonderment, Jim thought he was so beautiful, it almost hurt to look at him. 

"Jim?" Blair turned at the same time that Jim moved forward, worried that his Sentinel had zoned on the view, and Jim moved his hand almost as if in a trance, tracing it down the line of Blair's cheekbone, to run just the tips of his fingers across the bristles on his jaw. 

"Jim?" The voice was a whisper this time, and his eyes widened as Jim moved forward, catching his mouth before he could move away, and then, oh, then he didn't want to move away. Jim was kissing him, and his mouth was so soft and gentle on his lips, and his tongue was tracing a warm path across his mouth, where the lips were still shut, though they opened slightly in shock, and that warm tongue traced inside his mouth, running along his teeth, until finally, he moved his own tongue forward to touch Jim's softly. 

Jim moaned into his mouth, never breaking contact as he moved his hands up to cup Blair's face, and stroke Blair's tongue with his own, finally breaking apart, only as the need for oxygen overrode any other need. 

Pulling away, they both looked at each other warily, Jim thinking that Blair might hit him, and Blair thinking that Jim must be in some kind of bizarre zoneout caused by the view, or the fresh air, or...or...something. 

"Jim?" Blair asked for the third time in as many minutes. This time, Jim finally answered. 

"Yes?" Blair blinked, actually surprised to get a response out of him. 

"What the hell was that?" 

"A kiss." Blair squinted at him, his mouth thinning into a line of irritation. 

"I know it was a kiss, Jim. It was just about the hottest, most intense kiss I've ever been party to. What I mean is, _why_ , kiss me?" Jim moved forward again, and actually reached out, and placed his hand over the throbbing bulge in Blair's suddenly too tight jeans. 

"Didn't you want me to?" he asked, trying to side-step the question for the moment. 

"Jeeesuuss," Blair moaned, arching into the light stroking for a moment, before pulling away with a supreme act of willpower. "That-that wasn't an answer," he panted. 

"I wanted to kiss you," Jim said softly. "I have for a while. I-I want a lot more than that, actually." With an effort, Blair tried to clear his lust-clouded mind, and out-manuever the talented hand that was still looking like it was going to go for his crotch at a moment's notice. 

"What do you mean, _more_ ," Blair asked, trying desperately not to read anything into the statement that wasn't there. 

Jim closed his eyes tightly. This was it. Either he was going to win it all, or lose everything right here. The thought ran through his mind, that if Blair just laughed at him, at least he had a convenient cliff nearby. 

"I love you, Blair." The statement came out so quickly, that it was a wonder Blair caught it at all, but the hiss of an indrawn breath indicated that he had, indeed heard. 

'God, I love you too. So much." Jim actually flinched when he said that, and pulled Blair tightly against him. 

"So afraid. I was so afraid. I knew you _wanted_ me, but I didn't know if you wanted _me_ , too." Blair held on tightly, and struggled to make sense of the disjointed ramblings. "Carolyn never wanted me. Not once she found out that I was cold, and repressed, and emotionless. Wasted her time with me. You'll waste your time with me..." 

Blair held him tightly, appalled by the words spilling out of his mouth. Wondering where the feelings of being worthless were coming from, and learning, as he listened to more and more of what Jim was saying. Getting a bigger picture of the fact that Jim had never found one person that he loved, that had actually stayed with him. Finally, he pulled Jim's face up to look him in the eyes. 

"You listen to me, James Ellison. Time spent with you, is _never_ wasted. I have always wanted you. Just _you_. Not the Sentinel, or the Cop, or the Army Captain. Just James Ellison. A little bit of all of them. You aren't cold, and emotionless. I've seen the way you are with the victims. The careful way you treat them. That isn't someone who doesn't care; who's unfeeling and hard. 

"I love you, Jim. I always have. I won't ever leave you. Not unless you tell me to go." 

And was it any wonder that Blair seemed to know instinctively, what Jim needed to hear? To know what the problem was, and what was needed to solve it? When had Blair ever failed to take care of Jim? He was always there. Always supporting him. Always coaching, and teaching him. 

_Always loving him_. 

Yes, Jim had no problem seeing that now. Blair had always been there, quietly loving him. It was there, in every little kidness performed. In every sacrifice made, small and large. 

Blair loved him. 

Jim groaned again, but this time, there was a note of pure happiness in it. Pure joy, at the fact that...he actually trusted Blair. Trusted him in the way that was the most important to him, and also most diffucult for him. He trusted that Blair would never leave him. He would never wake up one morning to a note in a white envelope, saying that Blair just couldn't live with the silences any longer, and he had to do what was best for him, and he never meant to hurt Jim. None of them had ever meant to hurt him, it's just that that's what happens to Jim Ellison. It was as if you had to hurt him. You only loved him if you hurt him. Except Blair. Blair was the only one... 

Jim moved forward again, and this time, Blair didn't move away. Jim stroked his hands softly over Blair's shoulders, smoothing down his arms, and over, across his stomach. Sinking down to his knees, he ran his hands across the fluttering muscles of Blair's abdomen, stroking lightly, unfastening the button on his jeans, and pulling the zipper down with his teeth. Pushing the jeans, and boxers down slowly, and touching the hard cock that was leaking heavily as he ran his fingertips reverently over it. 

Blair's hips thrust toward him, but he hissed, 

"Jim! What if someone comes along the trail! Jim!" Jim pulled back only long enough to whisper, 

"No one...there's no one within three miles of here," before he moved forward again, scenting Blair, passing over his skin by minute fractions of an inch, the flow of air enough to drive Blair half-crazy with need. His hands found their way to Jim's hair, and he tugged on the short strands. 

"Please...please." Jim ran his fingers along the underside of his cock, teasing lightly just under the head, and moving back, to fondle his balls gently, cupping them, and rolling them softly as he leaned forward, and swallowed Blair with one smooth motion. 

"CHRIST!" Blair shouted, his hips surging forward as his hands groped for the railing behind him, convulsing as his come shot down Jim's throat, the muscles working rythmically to swallow it all driving him crazy, as they massaged the sensitive head. 

He slid slowly to the ground, groping for Jim as his breathing slowed, and he could capture a coherent thought. 

"You..Let me...Need to." Jim tried to jerk away as his hand reached for Jim's crotch, but not quite quickly enough, as he felt soft flesh, and sticky wetness there. His eyes darted up to Jim's face, and he saw consternation, and shame written there. 

"I-I couldn't...I'm sorry." Blair stroked his hand down Jim's arm gently. 

"There's no need to be sorry. It's a compliment, Big Guy." Jim still made no move to look at him, as he said, 

"Carolyn sure didn't think so." Once again, Blair had to restrain his anger. 

_Bitch_ , he thought uncharitably. 

"Well, I'm not Carolyn, and there are things that Carolyn didn't understand, I'm sure. The smells, and sounds would get to you more than most people, not just the physical stimulation. I'm sure the pheromones I was leaking all over the place had something to do with it," Blair added, remembering how Jim had scented up and down the length of him, and working hard to suppress a shiver of renewed lust. Jim finally looked up at him, hope dawning in his eyes. 

"You mean that?" 

"What, that it was a compliment to me?" Jim nodded silently. 

"Yes, I do. I love you Jim. That means that I love _all_ of you. And if I can work around all your house rules, then I'm sure I can work around the fact that you're more sensitive than most. Hell, who better to do it than me?" 

"We need to get cleaned up. There's a couple coming about a mile down the trail." 

"Well, we can get you cleaned up," Blair teased, reaching for the canteen of water and rag, he had brought along in his backpack. "You pretty well took care of me all by yourself. 

The rest of the hike was taken in silence, each lost in their own thoughts, but as they walked, both moved at the same time to link their hands, contentment blossoming at the touch between them. And both of them were thinking much along the same lines. 

There could be such beauty, and comfort in the silences. 

* * *

End

 


End file.
